I Turn 35 Today

And I'm still trying to figure out how we talk to grandma

Musings

• Didi, a coming of age film about a Taiwanese American boy growing up in Fremont in 2008 with his mom, is out in theaters after premiering at Sundance. It’s 90 Minutes. It will probably destroy you.

• I paid $187.00 for a professional resume reviewer to cleanup my resume. It was not worth it.

• The New York Times recommended I read The Bee Sting by Paul Murray and Demon Copperhead by Barbara Kingsolver. I read them. I loved them.

• Bill Hader’s big dick keeps getting referenced and popping up in my newsfeed. How do I tell my newsfeed to stop?

Decent Nights

My grandma used to walk around the house topless during the New York summers. I didn't think much of it until my mom asked her to be a little more decent around my brother and I. My mom suspected I always had shit stains on my underwear and boogers in my pockets due to a “lack of decency in the house.” I think it's most likely that I didn't like the texture of boogers in my mouth rather than because of what my grandma did or did not wear. Shit stains are still a problem.

Recently my mom's been using that phrase again when talking about Oliver. “Decent boys” use spoons when she notices Oliver using his hands during mealtime. If you don't comb his hair, he won't “look decent” at daycare. No matter how much we might comb his hair in the morning, my kid still comes home from daycare with a turd in his pants and rocks in his pockets. The apple did not fall that far from the tree as the saying goes.

We usually call her in the evenings over FaceTime. The calls are always brief—ten to fifteen minutes. Oliver's grandma gets only a handful of minutes every few days to see her grandson across the country. For me, it's a way to let my mom be a part of my son's life even if it's just a small window into our lives. There are no rules. I don't expect much. I just want her to see the joy he has in his jumps, the concentration he puts into coloring, and the way he practices new words with his mouth.

For my mom, it's an opportunity to mother again. An opportunity to love, show wisdom, and participate in her own way. And so after Oliver's gotten bored of showing his grandma his new high jump I tell my mom that yes, we'll try to be a little more decent tomorrow before saying good night.

Things I Want to Know from You

• For Parents - How do you explore a second language with your kids when they’re still learning their first?

• For Everyone - What’s the most recent drama in that run club or sport you joined because you wanted to be healthier but everyone else seems to be there to intercourse?

Talk to you next week,

Jason